Pulled this from
Challies.com"...
This is the message that you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another. We should not be like Cain, who was of the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own deeds were evil and his brother's righteous. Do not be surprised, brothers, that the world hates you. We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. (1 John 3:11-14)
Now this specific form of love in verse 12 may seem to you to be totally unneeded. "Don't be like Cain who murdered his brother." Am I really concerned that there will be a spate of murders among Christians? No. And I don't think John feared that either, though it does happen. He doesn't focus on the murder. He asks in verse 12, "And why did he murder him?" That's John's concern. There is something about Cain's motive that he thinks will be relevant to the way believers love each other.
He answers at the end of verse 12: "Because his own deeds were evil and his brother's righteous." What John is saying here is not merely that love doesn't kill a brother, but that love doesn't feel resentful when a brother is superior in some spiritual or moral way. Cain didn't kill Abel simply because Cain was evil. He killed him because the contrast between Abel's goodness and Cain's evil made Cain angry. It made him feel guilty. Abel didn't have to say anything; Abel's goodness was a constant reminder to Cain that he was evil. And instead of dealing with his own evil by repentance and change, he got rid of Abel. If you don't like what you see in the mirror, shoot the mirror.
So what would it be like for any of us to be like Cain? It would mean that anytime some weakness or bad habit in our lives is exposed by contrast to someone else's goodness, instead of dealing with the weakness or the bad habit, we keep away from those whose lives make us feel defective. We don't kill them. We avoid them. Or worse, we find ways to criticize them so as to neutralize the part of their lives that was making us feel convicted. We feel like the best way to nullify someone's good point is to draw attention to their bad point. And so we protect ourselves from whatever good they might be or us.
But John's point is: Love doesn't act like that. Love is glad when our brothers and sisters are making progress in good habits or good attitudes or good behavior. Love rejoices in this growth. And if it happens to be faster than our own growth, then love is humble and rejoices with those who rejoice.
So the lesson for us is: Everywhere you see some growth, some virtue, some, spiritual discipline, some good habit, or good attitude, rejoice in it. Give thanks for it. Compliment it. Don't resent it. Don't be like Cain. Respond the opposite from Cain. Be inspired by other people's goodness.
Love is humble. Love delights in other people's good. Love doesn't protect its own flaws. Love takes steps to change them. What a beautiful fellowship where everyone is rejoicing in each other's strengths, not resenting them! This is what the love of God looks like when the new birth gives it life in the people of God."
This just makes me even more aware of the believers that I surround myself with, and makes me thankfull for the group of guys in my small group. It is a massive level of maturity when you can look at someone take stock in what you think of them/their opinion and then reflect it back on to yourself in a very introscopic way. Who are you surrounding yourself with? Does their presence help you in your faith or hurty you? Are you using them as a way to evaluate yourself, your decisions, your faith?
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